Chapter 7
The sound of a knuckle rapping on metal shook Brett from his thoughts. At first he thought he must be imagining things; he blinked and saw she was still standing at the door to the cell, arms crossed beneath her breasts. “Am I interrupting something?” she asked. Only now did he note the hardness that had seeped into her voice, a sign of a maturity she’d gained over the last fifteen years.
“Just thinking,” he said.
She snorted at this. “I can imagine.”
“Did you come here to get a peek at me behind bars or are you going to do the interrogation?”
“Actually, I came to spring you. But I’m starting to have second thoughts.”
“Spring me? Are we making a break for it?”
“Not quite. I convinced Captain Stewart you weren’t a danger to the ship.”
“That’s mighty nice of you. I promise to earn you faith in me,” he said, putting a hand solemnly on his heart.
“Right. Let’s get out of here before I change my mind.” Robyn deactivated the force field around the door and motioned for Brett to step through the opening.
He almost expected her to raise the force field when he was halfway through, but Robyn wasn’t like that. Robyn Monroe nee Lichen was Starfleet through and through. Her genetic makeup precluded playing any kind of dirty tricks.
In the corridor, he walked a pace behind her, noticing she no longer had the braid bouncing around her waist. Now her hair was cut to shoulder-length, a regular Starfleet officer’s haircut. “When did you chop off your hair?” he asked.
“About two hours after we broke up. I wanted to make a clean break with everything.” She cleared her throat before adding, “And it would have been such a nuisance in tight quarters.”
“Good point.” He quickened his pace to pull even with her so he wouldn’t see the imaginary braid swinging like a pendulum across her back and think of all the times he’d unwound it—
“This way,” she said, grabbing his arm to steer him left.
“Going to introduce me to more of your friends?”
“I’m taking you to your quarters. It’s not exactly the VIP suite, but you should be comfortable enough.”
“It’s got to be better than the brig.” When she opened the door, he realized it wasn’t much better than his cell. The quarters were those for a junior officer—a very junior officer. There was a bed, a desk, a chair, and a replicator. Through the single window, he saw Seplentar, the outermost planet in the system, sliding by.
“Let me know if you need anything,” Robyn said.
He collapsed into the hard chair, putting his feet up on the desk. “How about a case of Romulan ale?”
Her smile more closely resembled a grimace. “Captain Stewart would put me in the brig if I did that.”
“Can’t bend the rules for an old friend even a teensy bit?”
“For an old friend, maybe. You on the other hand—”
Despite her joking tone, Brett sensed real anger in her voice. “Look, Robyn, I’m sorry about how things worked out. With us. I guess you were right: we wanted different things.”
“It’s all in the past.” She took a step back towards the door. “Captain Stewart instructed me to keep you locked in here but if you want to take a stroll I can arrange for someone to go with you.”
“Maybe you and I could go to the holodeck later—”
“I’m afraid I’m pretty busy.”
“Right. You’re a first officer now. That’s a lot of work. Will I see you when we dock or are you going to disappear again?”
“Brett, please. I thought you understood.”
“I understood I woke up and you left a note on your pillow and took the first shuttle off Earth.”
She crossed her arms again, her face turning red. But she wouldn’t cry, he knew that. Starfleet commanders didn’t cry. Not in front of subordinates anyway. “I knew if I stayed it would make things more difficult. I did what I thought best.”
“For someone so in love with codes of honor and conduct that seems like a pretty low thing to do. I should have them take away one of your merit badges.”
Her face turned such a deep red, he expected her to burst into flames. But the Starfleet training kicked in a moment later and the anger boiling beneath her skin like magma cooled as she regained her composure. “We have a counselor aboard. It might be good for you to talk with her and get out all these buried feelings of yours.”
“Is that what you did?”
“It was very helpful after Shawn died. You’d be surprised how much talking can help.”
“Can’t I just talk with you?”
“I think we’ve said all we need to say.” She turned to open the door, paused, and looked back to him. “I’ll see if I can make some time to drop by later.”
“I’ll be looking forward to it.” He waited until the door closed and he heard her lock it to stand up. A Federation replicator would not reproduce alcohol, without a few modifications. Brett’s bunkmate on the Excalibur was an engineer named O’Malley who became the most popular man on their deck because he knew how to coax the replicator into spitting out beer.
Even after ten years, Brett still remembered how. The glass of beer that appeared from the replicator was a dark Irish brew that tasted like turpentine. Any port in the storm, Brett mused as he drained the glass.
Even after fifteen years, the hurt from the morning Robyn left hadn’t gone away. He’d buried it deep away, but her reappearance in his life brought it all rushing back again. As a good former Starfleet officer he didn’t cry; he stared into the glass, casting his thoughts back.
After commencement, they took a trip up to a cabin in the Sierra Nevadas to be alone for the last time in who knew how long—which turned out to be forever. The cabin belonged to an uncle Robyn hadn’t seen since she was a little girl. The place looked like no one had lived in it all that time. There was dust on the mantle, table, and chairs. The bed didn’t have sheets and the blankets were worn on the edges. In the cupboards, they found only a canister of salt.
“I guess we’ll have to forage for our food. Nothing better than roughing it,” Brett said with false cheer.
Robyn frowned at this. “We can go somewhere else. I’m sure there are hotels in town—”
“Come on, it’ll be great. You wanted somewhere private and cozy, right?” He put an arm around her waist, pulling her close to kiss her cheek. “There’s nothing to worry about. You tidy up in here and I’ll find some firewood.”
Brett hadn’t started a fire since he was a boy, but it didn’t turn out to be much of a challenge. The fire started slow at first and then roared to life, nearly singing off his eyebrows in the process. He tumbled backwards into Robyn’s waiting arms. “I told you I could do it.”
“I never doubted you,” she said, kissing his cheek.
They sat in front of the fire, dining on packages of snacks they’d brought along. He tried to pitch a raisin into her mouth, but her face was turned away, looking into the fire. “What is it?”
“I was just thinking how long it’s going to be until we see each other again. A year at least.”
“It won’t be so bad. We can write each other. Send a subspace transmission from time to time. The year will go by before you know it.”
“A year, though. It’s so long.”
He gave her shoulder a squeeze. “This is supposed to be a happy occasion. We finally did it. We’re Starfleet officers now. You’re going out to map an interesting star cluster in the beta quadrant and I’m going with the Excalibur to explore what’s left of the Tholian Empire. This is what we’ve been dreaming about since we were kids and now it’s finally here.”
“I guess.”
“You’re not disappointed about your assignment, are you?”
“Of course not. Captain Richter is a very good officer—”
“And very old. His first assignment was on the
“That’s not funny.” Still, her lips twisted at the corners into a smile.
“I didn’t mean anything by it.”
“I know.” They kissed, a dry peck before she turned away again. “Have you considered how dangerous it’s going to be out there in Tholian space? And Captain Calhoun—” her voice trailed off as a piece of wood popped in the fireplace.
“What about him?”
“Well, he’s kind of a cowboy, don’t you think?”
“So what? We could use a few more cowboys. You can’t solve everything with words and good intentions.”
“But what if he picks a fight with the wrong people and you end up dead?”
“What if those stars you’re studying suddenly go nova? Everything we do has a risk involved. That’s why we’re there.”
“You might be, but not me. I want to help people, to unlock the secrets of the universe. That’s what Starfleet is supposed to be about.” She bolted from his grasp, her eyes glaring down at him with more heat than the fire. “You’ve never understood. All Starfleet means to you is a chance for thrill seeking. You don’t even care that you could die and we might never see each other again!” Her eyes filled with tears at this; she sank onto the bed and turned away so he couldn’t see her in such an undignified state.
Sitting beside her on the bed, he put a hand on her shoulder. “Robyn, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. Of course I want to come back to you. I love you.”
As with the first time they met, her kiss took him by surprise. But this time she didn’t run away. Instead, she pushed him down onto the bed and tore off his clothes with animal ferocity. He’d never seen her in such a state before; whenever they made love she was as tentative as a virgin. Not this time.
“What was that?” Brett said between breaths after they finished the first time.
“I wanted to give you something to remember while you’re out there in Tholian space,” she said.
They eventually fell asleep in each other’s arms, Brett’s face buried in Robyn’s curtain of brown hair. The scratchy fabric of the pillowcase greeting him in the morning was the first sign of trouble. Then he opened his eyes to find her note lying on the pillow. Before reading it, he knew what it said.
“Brett, I’m sorry, but I have to leave. I love you, but our love has no future. I hope you find everything you’re looking for on the Excalibur. Someday I know you’ll make a great captain—even if you are a cowboy. Please don’t hate me for this; it’s for the best. You’ll realize this in time,” her note read. He crumpled up the paper, tossing it into the cold embers of the fireplace along with their love.
